thembisile's Xanga

The End.

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 23:54:15 GMT

How long has it been since I've updated this?

Yeah, a long time.

Well, I figured it was about time to formally end this. Just as a quick update as to what has been going on with me:

- The job I took around the last time I did a post has had its ups and downs. At first I liked it, then hated it with a burning passion, and then began to like it again when I took up an internship in another department. I will be at my one-yr with the company next month.

- I'm studying for the GRE, so I can go to grad school to study sociology. It's my passion, even though people judge me when I tell them that's want to do. My goal? To go all the way to a Ph.D and be professor in the field.

- My boyfriend and I moved in to a new apartment a few months. It's in the style of a townhouse in the sense that it's two stories. Pretty cool. And we have his dog. It's so...domestic. But, that's okay. Domesticity doesn't really bother me.

- I've learned to cook, and I grow plants & herbs (real herbs, not "the" herb) without killing them...well, most of them.

- I have learned to understand why people hate credit cards. I feel like a real adult now! :-/

It's been great on here. I feel like I've shared my life with other people, and they've shared parts of theirs with mine. This has helped me to grow as a person and also connected me to other people who have similar interests to mine. I have no regrets for doing this blog, and I would continue it if it wasn't for the fact that I don't have the time anymore. I wish everyone well, and thank you for everything.

I bid you adieu.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Sat, 06 Oct 2007 18:03:06 GMT

God, I miss writing in here. I can't even blog at work because blogs are automatically blocked. I passed my first licensing test! Now I'm studying for my next one on Monday. Hopefully I'll be able to do some postings towards the end of next week then. I hope all is well with everyone.

P.S. The movie below is highly recommended! Story about a woman who has never had an orgasm and a husband who is frustrated by it. She winds up addicted to her vibrator once she achieves her first orgasm with it, and he ends up getting his life back together once he realizes that he can bring other women to orgasm. There's more to it than that, though....however, those are some of the funniest parts of the movie.

FYI

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 13:17:55 GMT

Just wanted to apologize for being MIA recently. I just got a new job that requires me to take two licensing exams in less than a month in order to keep the job....and I want to keep it. Thanks for everyone's feedback and support! I wanted to reply to every one individually, but it may be a while since I need to get these exams taken care of.

My Life Alert.

Tue, 04 Sep 2007 15:15:47 GMT

Alright. I might as well just come out with it. For those of you who I know personally who would have preferred hearing this in person as opposed to reading it on my blog, I apologize. I just feel like I need to get this out on a public forum for some reason.

I moved out of my parents house.

Don't rejoice quite yet. You haven't heard the circumstances. I didn't discuss it with them. I just moved my stuff out and talked to them about it afterwards. Yep. That's right. Let's begin.

Why did I choose to do it this way? I knew while I was doing it that it wasn't the best way to move out, to say the least. However, my mother and I had had discussions about it over the past few months, and she made her feelings known that she wanted me to stay at home until I get married. My mother's....er...suggestions aren't suggestions. They're commands, as I have learned during the times I don't follow her "advice". I felt desperate to move out...it almost felt like a life or death situation for a while. I felt if I waited to talk to her again about it, I would end up doing what she wanted me to do (like always), which is stay home.

Reasons for moving out: There's your typical post-teen reason: independence. However, that wasn't my main reason. As many people who know me know, I'm not a fan of confrontation/conflict. I avoid it as much as possible. I realized, though, that the mild anxiety attacks (well, according to WebMD, they seem more like mild panic attacks...but we'll go with anxiety) I get about conflict primarily occur with my mother. They occasionally help to build up to temporary bouts of depression that I get. (I was depressed as a child. I figure it'll be with me forever.) I was told once my a therapist that, even though she cares about me, living with her probably isn't the best situation for me. The combination of those two things made me come to the conclusion that getting out the house was the best option for me.

So, how did it go? It went almost as bad as I expected...but worse. I knew they'd be upset, but, as odd as it sounds, I was surprised how hurt they were that I went ahead and moved out without talking to them. My mom claims that if I had just asked, they would have said yes, which I know isn't true considering the past times we had talked about this. I explained to her that I understood her reasons why she wanted me to stay home longer, but that I felt gaining my independence was more important. (I didn't mention the psychological stuff intentionally. I figure telling her, "Hey, you give me anxiety attacks" would hurt her.) They conveyed their feelings that this was a horrible thing to do to them after all they've done for me, which I understood. I told them that even though I wasn't going to be living at home, I wanted to still help out with family business stuff and watching the dog. Just because I moved out didn't mean I wasn't apart of the family. However, I was clearly told that my help was not wanted.

My mom said she feels like I was only there to take things from them and, now that there's nothing left to take, I'm gone. I explained that me moving out gave them one less person that's dependent on them. I also repeated the fact that I still wanted to help them, considering all that they have done for me. She ignored that. She asked me for my key to the house and said that if I wanted to come by to visit, I needed to call first. They both told me "to have a nice life".

And now? I have a mix of feelings right now. The predominant one is guilt for hurting them so harshly (particularly my dad who I felt got caught in a crossfire that had nothing to do with him originally), something that I didn't see coming. It's sad that I didn't have the foresight to see that. The other feeling is relief that I'm not living with my mother anymore. Currently, I don't regret what I did. I still feel the method wasn't the best, but I feel the alternative wouldn't have been feasible considering my mom. However, I do regret that I hurt them.

My Life - Cliff Notes

Sun, 02 Sep 2007 03:47:09 GMT

I started taking a belly dancing class. A lot more work than I expected, but it'll be fun.
I switched cell phone service providers and got a Razr V3m. However, four days later, I still can't use it because apparently the two cell phone companies involved can't seem to properly communicate when it comes to carrying my number from one company to another.
$6.99 bikini separates at Old Navy

Today's Articles - Asian Women are Nymphos; Asians & People with Down Syndrome

Wed, 29 Aug 2007 18:56:18 GMT

The theme today seems to be issues facing Asian Americans.

"At Nail Salons, Beauty Treatments Can Have a Distinctly Unglamorous Side" - New York Times
"As the number of nail salons has surged, Chinese immigrants have poured into the industry in New York and New Jersey, which has long been dominated by Korean immigrants, like Ms. Lee. These Chinese manicurists often work for low wages, helping salon owners hold down their expenses and prices....But the demand has taken a toll on many salon workers, advocates for the workers said. Owners often force employees to work 60 hours a week while failing to pay overtime or allow lunch breaks. And lower manicure prices mean lower tips for workers who spend their days cutting cuticles and painting on polish."

"No-Tell Motels" - Time Magazine
Asian Americans own approximately 37% of the US hotel industry. However, due to xenophobia, so many of them display "American Owned" signs on and in their facilities, which "intended as code for 'not owned by immigrants,' an attempt to divert business from upstanding first- or second-generation citizens whose ethnicity distinguishes them from most of their small-town neighbors."

"Evolutionary Regression Back to 1866" - The Guardian
"I am a connoisseur of freaky ideas, but nothing prepared me for this gem from the academic journal Medical Hypotheses: an article called 'Down subjects and Oriental population share several specific attitudes and characteristics'. You'd be right to experience a shudder of nervousness at the title alone, since this is an academic journal, from 2007, and not 1866 when John Langdon Down wrote his classic 'Observations on the Ethnic Classification of Idiots'. Flash forward to 2007 - I think that's where we are - to two Italian doctors. They offer their theory that the parallels between Down syndrome and 'oriental' people go beyond this fleeting facial similarity. 'There is...pose taken by Down subjects while they are sitting on a chair: they sit with their legs crossed while they are eating, writing, watching TV, as the Oriental peoples do.'"
It just...I...really??? *shakes head*

"Asian Women are Nympho Freaks?" - Race in the Workplace Blog
"Then he said, “='What do you think she is? She doesn’t look full Asian. Some kind of half-breed?' and, flabbergasted, I managed 'I don’t know.'"
I don't know how Asian and Asian American women can deal the load of stereotypes, particularly sexual, that heterosexual men of other races have placed upon them.

Social History of the Bra - AlterNet
"The bra was invented by an engineer of German extraction called Onto Titzling in 1912. He was living in a New York boarding house, and one of his neighbours, a voluptuous opera singer called Swanhilda Olafson, complained that she needed a garment to hoist her vast bosom aloft every evening -- so Titzling obliged, using some cotton, elastic and metal struts. Unfortunately, he failed to patent the device and, in the early 1930s, a Frenchman named Philippe de Brassière began making a suspiciously similar object. Titzling took him to court, but the unscrupulous Frenchman won the day. And that's why the garment all the ladies are wearing is called a brassiere, not a titzling."

"Harvard Leader Named Dean of Duke medical school" - Boston Globe
"In other news, the Boston Globe reports that Duke just named a woman, Dr. Nancy C. Andrews, as head of its medical school. Andrews is not only the first female dean of Duke's medical school, but the only female dean among the top 10 United States medical schools, as ranked by the U.S. News & World Report. (Salon's Broadsheet)"

"Nelson Mandela Statue is Unveiled [in London]" - BBC News
I know most people probably don't care about this, but I'm half-South African. I can't help but to care.

By the way...
"'But You Look so Good!' and 7 Other Things NOT to Say to a Person With a Non-Visible Disability" - DiversityInc Magazine

"US Astronauts 'Did Not Fly Drunk'" - BBC News
This is a follow-up to an article I posted previously about accusations that astronauts had been allowed to fly drunk on two occasions.

Today's Articles - Closeted Gay Republicans, & Polow Da Don: "King of White Women"

Tue, 28 Aug 2007 16:53:18 GMT

"Senator, Arrested in Airport, Pleads Guilty" - New York Times
"Senator Larry E. Craig, Republican of Idaho, was arrested in June by an undercover police officer in a men’s bathroom at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport, and pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct in the case three weeks ago." Oh, the closeted gay republicans. What was the disorderly conduct? Looking for sex. What I wonder is if police are on the look out for straight couples who have sex in public bathrooms? Maybe...but not as much as male homosexuals.

"Racial Disparity Affirmed in Tobacco Advertising" - New York Times
"Five of the billboard studies reported enough data to figure out the density of tobacco advertising in different neighborhoods. Pooling this data, the researchers found that there were 4.5 tobacco billboards per 10,000 residents in white areas and 11.8 per 10,000, or 2.6 times the density, in black neighborhoods. The data also showed that a given billboard was 70 percent more likely to advertise tobacco in a black market compared with a white one. The review appears in the September/October issue of Public Health Reports."

"Minister Guilty in Gay Marriage Case" - New York Times
"A Presbyterian minister was found guilty of violating church law for officiating the weddings of two lesbian couples, the minister’s defense team said Friday."

Rural South African Women Not Aware of Their Rights - AllAfrica.com
"An example of such a right, which many rural women were not aware of, she explained, was the right of married women to buy homes without their husband's consent. In the past, women were compelled by law to have such consent before buying real-estate....'Women didn't have access to property but now they do. However they still do not buy houses because they are not aware of their rights,' she said."

"Judge Blocks New Missouri Abortion Law" - Forbes
Now, I can understand why pro-choicers dislike this law --- they may feel it is designed to temporarily or permanently close down abortion clinics (and I'm sure it is). However, on the other hand, these clinics should be clean and up to snuff with health codes. The clinics should have to abide by the same health codes as other clinics. I would propose that they are given a few years, though, so they can make improvements and still provide service. Then again, the costs will probably get passed down to their customers.

Polow Da Don, Self-Proclaimed "King of White Women" - Stereohyped.com
Polow, a music producer who has brought hits to Ludacris and other hip-hop artists, explains the differences between black and white women. I'd be insulted if it weren't for the fact that his opinion means little to me.

Om.

Tue, 28 Aug 2007 05:40:46 GMT

I love my little buddha! Believe it or not...Target for $6.

Today's Articles - Woman Assaulted While Others Watched & Did Nothing

Tue, 28 Aug 2007 04:33:27 GMT

"Man Rapes Woman as Bystanders Look On" - WCCO.com (CBS News Syndicate)
Anyone reminded of the rape and murder of Catherine Genovese in 1964 where people watched and did nothing? The best part about this story? The guy claims he didn't do it even though it's been caught on video tape.

"Destructing Mammy Pt. 1" - The Luscious Librarian
An attempt to understand why society still looks down upon African-American women wearing head wraps.

"Martin Luther King Jr. Monument Criticized Over Selection of a Chinese Sculptor" - BrandonSun.com
The issue? That the sculptor isn't African-American. I think this is stupid. I'm pretty sure the fact that they're arguing over what race the sculptor should be would have MLK rolling in his grave.

"They Stand By Their Men, Loudly" - New York Times
"RICHARD NIXON had definite views about how the wife of a presidential candidate should campaign. In 1992, he was watching a lawyer named Hillary Clinton aggressively defend her husband in New Hampshire....'If the wife comes through as being too strong and too intelligent,' Mr. Nixon observed, 'it makes the husband look like a wimp.'...Now, 15 years later, strong and intelligent women are out in force on the campaign trail, and the focus is not just on how they reflect on their husbands but how they reflect on themselves. These women are full partners in their husbands’ campaigns while running mini-campaigns of their own, with hectic travel schedules, strategic agendas and a media horde in tow."

"At a Home Office, Life's Little Interruptions" - New York Times Magazine
A guy's account of being a stay-at-home dad.

"Buh Bye Girlhood, Hello Trampy 'Tweendom!" - Salon's Broadsheet
"It's that exciting time of year when adolescent girls across the nation go in search of the essentials for starting off the school year ~~prepared and ready to learn~~ as a hot new 'tween: pink, padded bras, T-shirts with slogans declaring their total lack of smarts ('I Left My Brain in My Locker') and, perhaps, a Juicy Couture gym bag made especially for prepubescents, announcing 'Juicy and Happy.'"

Today's Articles - Christian Domestic Discipline & Army Cover-Up of Private LaVena Johnson's Case

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 16:48:56 GMT

The first story I have for today blew my mind in so many different ways. I wanted to laugh at the absurdity of the concept...while screaming at the inhumanity, misogyny and brainwashing of it all.

"Spare the Rod, Spoil the Wife" - Salon's Broadsheet
Broadsheet discusses the website Christian Domestic Discipline/Loving Wife Spanking in a Christian Marriage and other blogs that agree with this way of life. Broadsheet takes this from their website: "The wife is submissive to her husband as is fit in the Lord and her husband loves her as himself. He has the ultimate authority in his household, but it is tempered with the knowledge that he must answer to God for his actions and decisions. He has the authority to spank his wife for punishment." They website even sells cooling ointments to put on bruised areas of the body!

"Getting Justice for Private Johnson" - Feministing
" LaVena Johnson died in Iraq on July 19, 2005. The seemingly happy and healthy 19-year old Private First Class soldier was found dead by a gunshot wound with bruising, a dislocated shoulder, an indication that someone tried to set her body on fire, and a number of other signs including a blood trail outside of the tent she was found in. But despite all of these factors, the U.S. Army declared that her death was caused by suicide and shut the case quietly....Although the Johnson family have been desperately trying to get her case reopened, the Army has refused. Shocking, I know....LaVena's father, Dr. John Johnson, believes that his daughter was murdered, and that the murder was connected to sexual assault."